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Who Told You That?

April 2, 2018

Today, we’re going to play a little game.

 

It’s called – “who told you that?”

 

It’s a game that I play often with my clients that are dealing with high anxiety, depressive symptoms, negative self-talk, and other negative emotions.

 

Try it with me real quick.

 

Maybe this morning when you looked in the mirror, you thought something horrible about your reflection.

Photo by Taylor Smith on Unsplash

 

“Ugh, look at those wrinkles. I’m starting to look so old and ugly.” Or “I must’ve gained 15 pounds this weekend, I’m getting so fat.”

 

Or maybe you fell behind on your to-do list last week and felt overwhelmed by everything that carried over to today.

 

“I can’t believe I did that to myself, I’m so irresponsible/disorganized/stupid/awful/etc.”

 

Maybe your kids are already driving you crazy this spring break.

 

“Why does everyone else love spending these weeks with their kids, and I can’t even handle one day without wanting to hide?” “I must be the worst mother for not planning anything big and spectacular for them.” Or even “two more hours until nap time, and I don’t even know if I can wait until then.”

 

So – back to our game.

 

Each of those thoughts that you had came from somewhere. It had an origin. Maybe it was someone toxic from a past relationship, from your childhood, or even people that you hear those kinds of things from regularly right now.

 

Now comes the fun part.

 

Why are that person’s words coming from your mouth? Who gave them the power to tell you who you are?

 

If you looked into their life, would they be the person that you should really be listening to?

 

Generally, when we hear those messages from someone – that we aren’t enough in some way – those messages come from people that tend to be abusive, negative, unkind, unhappy, or selfish in some way.

 

Should we believe them?

 

Negative self-talk can be really difficult to correct. It usually comes from many years of reinforcing those messages both with the people that we surround ourselves, and with our own words and actions.

 

But it starts with recognizing those words and thoughts for what they are and telling yourself the truth.

 

Who decides what is beautiful in your home, in your life – or in your mirror?

 

You do.

 

You can latch onto perceived imperfections in that mirror,  throughout your day, and through your whole life.

 

Or you can begin to give yourself grace for mistakes and find the beauty that is there – both inside and out.

 

Need more support than what a blog post will give you? Contact me here to learn more about my services.

 

Attention Lowcountry Moms!! Want to learn more about how correcting your self-talk can be part of your daily self-care plan? I have a 2 hour workshop coming up soon that will provide you with practical solutions for how to put together a self-care plan specifically for you - allowing you to start practicing self-care without guilt, shame, or tons of extra time (because who even has that??) Come join me, Leslie of Leslie Hall Coaching, and Lauren of Sculpted Lotus Yoga in Summerville on April 21st for an amazing workshop built with busy moms like you in mind! Click here for more details!

 

Brooke Williams, MA, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor serving South Carolina. She provides relationship and identity counseling online for busy moms and professionals. You can read more about her here.

 

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